I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
