the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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