i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
