Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
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Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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