My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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