You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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