If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
