quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
