My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
