You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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