Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
