He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
