I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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