if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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