some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
