I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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