he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
40s are totally the cure
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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