you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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