he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
