Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
