i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
