He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
