I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
