If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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