next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
