Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I need moral support for this bender
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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