oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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