i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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