Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
