it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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