she woke up with a sticky ear
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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