HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
