worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
