I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
