apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize