I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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