I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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