I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
