hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
