haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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