new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
