You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
