I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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