when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
