he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
