OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
