we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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