I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
