i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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