Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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