that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
