He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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