Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
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I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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