Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
