We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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