Small penises have feelings too.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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