yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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