party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
