He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
