I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
