i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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