I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
