We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
