3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize